“Is it better than the real thing?”
I have a boyfriend. We’re both into computers, we both have a lust for life, and we both adore each other immensely. Oh, and one more thing – we’ve never met.
It is with some interest, then, that I find an article in a free newspaper on the train this evening which describes a similar couple, united by the online virtual world “Second Life”.
The article (“the london paper”, 30/01/08, by Stuart McGurk – (view article)) is refering to a BBC documentary, airing tonight. It finished a few minutes ago at time of writing, and I have yet to see it, but I will post a video here soon. It is “Wonderland: Virtual Adultery and Cyberspace Love“.
The tagline for the show is as follows: “Documentary series about everyday dramas. Carolyn is a 37 year-old mother of four in the midst of a passionate affair. She’s spending up to 18 hours a day with her lover online on ‘Second Life’, the website. She has never met him, but, to her husband of nine year’s dismay, she is abandoning her family and flying 5,000 miles to London to start a new life with her lover, Elliot.“
So why, then, does Stuart McGurk decide to completely avoid the small issue of “love” in his article, which begins “Has anyone noticed how this online, multi-user, virtual-reality, have-a-12-strong-cyber-orgy-while-watching-Corrie age in which we live hasn’t, you know, actually advanced us at all, sexually“?
As many of you may know, both myself and my boyfriend choose to play “child avatars” in Second Life – and in this community, the seperation of sex and love is of paramount importance.
Of course, I can absolutely relate to Stuart’s viewpoint. A year ago, I would have looked upon someone else in my position today, and laughed with a stubbornly mocking tone. What is he DOING? He’s fallen in love with another guy who lives on another continent. Has the human condition really declined into such a state where this guy actually feels fulfilled by his virtual romance?
Yes, actually. I willingly advise anyone who is reading this text with disbelief, to give it a go. I know you won’t – you might risk enjoying yourself.
I too have fallen into this place of oddness. I am in love with someone I never met, but the connections, interests, feelings, emotions, longing, glow… all of it effects me in a very real way. Am I in love with a fantasy, an ideal? Am I in love with a person for who he is, or for who he represents himself to be? I have been with my sweet fella now for a long time, not only by SL standards, but in relation to my real life, longer than most of my RL equivalent relationships. I feel enough of what makes him tick , but also know so much of his dreams and mine that I could probably answer yes to all of the above. I’m not sure on the BBC documentary and how well they will cover these more complicated aspects, but I know how I feel.
As the recipient of Felixe’s love and attentions, and having a relationship in RL, I’m a dead ringer for the woman mentioned in the article. Except I haven’t bought my ticket to London… yet. I wonder about the shock of making it real. Would we feel the same way, would our love fourish in RL as it has in SL?? No way to know. What is the number for virgin airlines again??
Since when was love about physical satisfaction anyways?